Question

1) Identify some situations in your life that are problematic; ones that are not going as well as you think they should. Write them as questions. Be specific in how you describe them. Don’t just say, “How can I get along with my friends?” Focus it. “How can I best deal with Arthur when I feel him pressuring me to do X and I really don’t think I should be doing X?”

Write a list of some further questions you should be asking about those situations.

Answer 1

Situation:

This is about me and my best friend. We have trouble understanding each other. She constantly invalidates me, which makes me feel that I am not perceiving things the right way and it gives me a guilt trip. Moreover, it sometimes feels like she judges me over things that I do, which makes me feel low. I am not a person who usually values what others think of me. But, people who are really close to me make me feel conscious about myself and my best friend happens to be one of them. I have tried talking my mind out to her. However, it has made her feel as if I am blaming her for my insecurities and I am unable to accept my flaws. My intention is to not blame her but rather to change the way in which she converses with me.

Questions:

How can I bet put across my thoughts to her without making her feel that I am 'blaming' her?

How can I make her aware that she is judging me?

How does it really make her feel when I talk about my feelings out to her?

How can I establish an effective mode of communication with her where she can understand and respect that I am different from her?