Question

Good News (Adjustment Grant)

Situation: You received notice that one of your customers received a shipment of defective products, and the customer wants a replacement. You immediately investigated the situation and found that the seals on the devices were not installed correctly, they leaked during shipment, and you will send a replacement shipment. Here's a possible adjustment-grant (good news) message.

Subject: Defective Shipment Complaint

We have received your claim reporting that our shipment of medical devices arrived in badly damaged condition. We regret the inconvenience caused you and can understand your unhappiness. Please accept our apologies.

Following our standard practice, we investigated the situation thoroughly. Apparently, the fault was in our failure to check the seals carefully. As a result, fluid escaped in transit, damaging the exteriors of the devices. We have taken corrective measures to assure that future shipments will be more carefully checked.

I am pleased to report that we are sending a replacement order. It will be shipped today by Crimson Line Motor Freight.

Again, we regret any inconvenience.

Critique

(After making comments above, replace this text with your critique) - Summarize your critique of the message above and briefly outline your plans for revision. Use communication theories/terminology discussed in class and from your textbook to support your discussion.

Revision

(Replace this text with your revision).

1. Comment. Make comments on the example message. Write your comments - what is wrong with what you have highlighted and what can be improved?

2. Critique. Write a summary of your critique and outline for revisions

BCOM

3. Revise. Write a revision of the message

1. You can invent people’s names, addresses, details, etc. when necessary BUT do not change the core information provided in the original message.

Answer 1

1. Comments: There is no appology in the sample message. In case of any damaged shipment delivered, the appology should be the first priority. There is no information on when the new device should reach the customer. Also, no information is giive regarding the shipping back of the damaged device.

2. Critique: We just like to escape awkward circumstances so writing a message or email shows that you are taking the obligation seriously and that you are very sorry. It expresses a seriousness that no basic telephone conversation does.

I learned from clients that they are concerned about personal apologies because they are poor or vulnerable to mistake. Don't slip through the insincere type of power-breaking prose. Effective corporate contact fosters partnerships and interactions, not a dance of fake control.
A genuine letter of apologies comes out straight and tells what you have done wrong. There's no running around the bush or doing anything backhanded like, "I'm sorry you got upset." A sincere response immediately highlights the mistake and then shows regret about the misstep.
After that, a message of heartfelt apologies needs little groveling. Everybody makes errors, after all. This should cause (hopefully) a conversation between you and the person you have offended. When they feel hurt by the poor behavior, it would also regain their integrity.

Ultimately, whether or not the offer is acknowledged, you should be confident you have done the correct thing by accepting responsibility for your own actions. You can't monitor other people's attitudes, only your own.

3. Revise:

Dear X,

Thank you for putting Order #ABC1234 to our notice. We apologize for the harm your medical devices have suffered during transit. We regret the trouble it caused you and we understand your disappointment. We are giving you an urgent substitution. It will arrive by 27/02/2020 at the latest.

We extensively researched the situation and figured out that it was our defective seals which caused fluid to leak while in transportation, ruining the exterior of the machines. We have implemented disciplinary measures to ensure that attention is given to all shipments.

Each packet contains a return mark. Please add it to the initial package and return the defective product and all its accessories to our factory. Posting is not needed. The wrong object please return within 15 days.

Thank you for your feedback and again, we apologize for the error.

Sincerely,

My Name