Question

Which of the following qualify as good thesis statements? Take any that are faulty and rewrite them to remedy their weaknesses. If no errors, state correct as written.

1. Living in the desert as we do, my listeners and I can grow many beautiful and interesting plants in our gardens without using large amounts of water.

2. To inform patients about how the medical insurance claims process works.

3. Because recent research suggests children develop positive self-esteem through recognition for their achievements, not from indiscriminate praise, I will persuade the parents and teachers in my audience to modify their behavior toward children.

4. Tourists can learn a lot from visiting the European battlefields of World War II, and unexploded land mines from past wars are a serious problem throughout the world.

Answer 1

Good thesis statements:

A good theses statement has following characteristics:

• It should be short,
• It should be specific and complete sentence that concentrates on central idea,
• It should be a declarative statement,
• It should have single idea,
• It should reflect audience consideration.

My analysis about the given statements is as follows:

• Living in the desert as we do, my listeners and I can grow many beautiful and interesting plants in our gardens without using large amounts of water.

Correct as written (as it qualifies all the characteristics of a good thesis statement).

• To inform patients about how the medical insurance claims process works.

It is not a complete sentence.

It can be rewritten as:

Basic aspects of how the medical insurance claims process works to give patients clear understanding of the process.

• Because recent research suggests children develop positive self-esteem through recognition for their achievements, not from indiscriminate praise, I will persuade the parents and teachers in my audience to modify their behavior toward children.

Correct as written (as it qualifies all the characteristics of a good purpose statement).

• Tourists can learn a lot from visiting the European battlefields of World War II, and unexploded land mines from past wars are a serious problem throughout the world.

It contains more than one idea.

It can be rewritten as two different statements:

Tourists can explore a lot from visiting the European battlefields of World War II.

Unexploded land mines from past wars pose a serious problem throughout the world.