Question

Sentence Clarity

Improve the clarity of the following sentences by changing sentence structures or by splitting long sentences into several shorter ones.

a. The properties consist of approximately 5,000 acres, including those parcels of Heron Ranch owned by American Axis Insurance Company, the unsold Jones Ranch parcels, the village commercial area, the mobile home subdivisions, two condominium complexes, a contractor's storage area, an RV storage area, a sales office, a gatehouse, open space parcels, and the undeveloped areas for future Buildings 1666, 1503, 1990, and 1910.

b. Having already requested permits for the construction of the bathhouse, medical center, maintenance building, boat dock, swimming pool, community building, and an addition to the community building, we still need to apply for the storeroom permit.

c. A report dated May 25, 2007, for the ABC Corporation confirmed that the updated business plan had been completed the previous month, but a new plan had to be submitted by May 25, 2008.

Answer 1

a) i) The properties consist of approximately 5,000 acres.

ii) This includes the parcels of Heron Ranch owned by American Axis Insurance Company. Also the unsold Jones Ranch parcels.

iii) Moreover, it includes the village commercial area, an RV storage area, a sales office, a gatehouse, open space parcels.

iv) It also includes the undeveloped areas for future buildings 1666, 1503, 1990, and 1910.

b) i) The permits for the construction of the bathhouse, medical center, maintenance building, boat dock, swimming pool, and community building have already been requested.

ii) But the permit for the storeroom still needs to be applied.

c) i) A report dated May 25, 2007, for the ABC Corporation confirmed that the updated business plan had been completed the previous month.

ii) But a new plan has to be submitted by May 25, 2008.