Question

Question:

In Real Life: Paraphrasing on the Job Transcript Activity
[ Silence ]

>> Jill: Oh, hey, I'm having the strangest feeling about our boss lately.

>> Mark: What's that?

>> Jill: Well I'm beginning to think maybe this thing about women, or maybe it's just about me.

>> Mark: You think he's coming onto to you.

>> Jill: Oh, no not at all. But it seems like he doesn't take women, or me seriously.

>> Mark: What do you mean?

>> Jill: Well whenever we're brainstorming and he asks for ideas, he always seems to pick men. And, well he gives orders to women, well men too, but it seems like he never asks the women to say what they think

>> Mark: So you think, maybe he doesn't take the women seriously, is that it?

>> Jill: Yeah. Well he sure doesn't seem interested in their ideas. I mean he's not a total woman hater. I know there's woman in the office that he counts on. Theresa, who's been here forever, he always says he couldn't live without her. And then when Brenda got the new computer system up and running, I know he appreciated that. He gave her the day off, and then he told everybody how she saved our lives [laughter].

>> Mark: But now you sound confused.

>> Jill: I am confused. I know, I don't think it's just my imagination. I'm mean, I'm a good producer. And he's never, not once, asked me for my ideas about how to improve sales, or anything. And I can't remember a time when he asked any other women. But maybe I'm overreacting.

>> Mark: So, even though you're not positive you're right, it still has you concerned.

>> Jill: Yeah, and I don't know what to do about it.

>> Mark: Maybe you should [pause]... What are your choices?

>> Jill: Well, I could just ask him if he's aware that he never asks women's opinions. But then that might sound too angry or aggressive.

>> Mark: And you're not angry?

>> Jill: Not really. I just don't know where I stand with John. And not being sure is starting to get to me. I wish I knew what he thinks about me. Or maybe I could just ask him, tell him I'm confused about what's going on here, and ask him to clear it up. But then what if it's nothing, then I'll look insecure.

>> Mark: And that would make you look bad.

>> Jill: I'm afraid it would. Maybe I could ask someone else in the office about it, get their ideas.

>> Mark: You could talk to the others and see what they think, before you go to the boss.

>> Jill: Yeah, maybe I could ask Brenda. She's easy talk to, and I do respect her judgment. I could see if she feels the same way I do.

>> Mark: It sounds like Brenda's the right person to talk too.

>> Jill: Yeah. And if it's nothing, I can calm down. But if I do need to talk to the boss, I won't feel like it's just me.

>> Mark: Great. Let me know how it goes.

1. Besides paraphrasing, what other helping styles does Mark use?

2. Find situations where Mark reflects Jill's feelings, as well as her thoughts.

3. Why do you think Mark's responses were more helpful than offering advice to Jill?

4. Apply the criteria for choosing whether to paraphrase, to evaluate whether this was an appropriate time for Mark to paraphrase Jill's concerns.

5. what is the most important thing you can do to improve your listening skills?

Answer 1

Communication

Communication is a process of exchanging ideas, facts and information from one person to another person.

Listening is an important skill in the communication process. There are many techniques and strategies to make a communication effective.

1. Mark's Helping styles

Other than Paraphrasing( repeating back the summary of the details that you have heard) Mark uses various communication skills such as:

* Reflecting: It is a technique, used in effective communication, where by the receiver reflect back the feelings of the speaker. For example ' A teacher can reflect back the emotions of a student by seeing her biting the nails, " i Think you are nervous, because you are biting your nails".It helps them identify their feelings.

* Questioning: It is also technique of effective communication. For understanding others better and their feelings and thoughts, one has to ask questions. Open ended questions are more useful than closed ended. Mark uses questioning technique here.

* Suggestions: Mark uses another technique of communication. Suggestions from the receiver are useful for the speaker.Mark suggesting to Jill, " you could talk to others and see what they think, before you go to the boss"

* Listening and responding : Mark listens Jill and responding appropriately.

2. Situations Mark reflects Jill's feelings and thoughts

Mark reflects back to Jill that she is confused ( " Mark: but now you sound confused". Jill agrees that she is confused)

3. Mark's responses were more helpful for Jill than offering advices as advices are usually not always welcomed by others. Mark's responses were included the techniques of effective communication such as listening, questioning, feedback, reflecting and suggestions. Offering advice make the other person to think that we think he or she doesn't have ability to solve the problems.

Mark responses helped Jill to understand her feelings more better, to share her thoughts, to get some suggestions.

4. In a communication Paraphrasing can be used by a receiver at any time. This helps the speaker to understand that he is being heard or listened by the other one. Paraphrasing shows any gap in the information given and it allows the speaker to clarify once more the information.

In this conversation Mark uses paraphrasing appropriately for the situation. It helps Jill to understand that Mark is listening properly to her conversation.

5. To improve listening skills:

* Maintain eye contact with the speaker

* Pay attention and show the interest( nodding the head and expressing concerns are the signs of active listening)

* Be in a relaxed position

* Use questioning, only when necessary or to clarify information. don't interfere the conversation with too many questions.

* Empathise with him

* regular feedback or responses are necessary

* Observe the body language of the speaker to understand him better.