Question

In Real Life: Win-Win Problem Solving 
[ Silence ]

[ Noises ]

>> Can you be a little more quiet? I don't have class until 10 o'clock. I want to catch up on some sleep.

>> Sorry to bother you. I am cleaning up last night's dinner dishes.

>> Well, I wish you would do it a little more quietly. I was up late studying,

>> Well if you would've washed them last night, I wouldn't have had to clean them now.

>> I was going to do them when I got up. I've got two mid-terms this week. I was studying until midnight last night. What's more important, grades or a sterile kitchen?

>> I've got classes too, you know, but that doesn't mean we have to live like pigs.

>> Forget it. If it such a big deal, I will never leave another dirty dish.

>> Chris and Terry avoid one another as they get ready for school. During the day Chris realizes that attacking Terry will make matters only worse. She decides on a more constructive approach.

[ Noises ]

>> That wasn't much fun this morning. Want to talk about it?

>> I suppose so, but I'm getting ready to leave; I'm studying with Kim and Alyssa in a few minutes.

>> Well, if you're leaving soon, let's not get into it now. We could talk later.

>> Okay, if I'm not too tired,

>> Or we could talk in the morning before class.

>> Okay.

[ Noises ]

[ Silence ]

>> I hated having to start the day with fight, but I also hate having to do the dishes when it's not my turn, It doesn't seem fair for me to do my job and yours and that's why I got so mad and snapped at you.

>> But I was studying. You know how much I have to do. It's not like I was partying.

>> I know. It's not just doing the dishes that got me upset, it's just seems like there have been a lot times where I've done your jobs and mine too.

>> Like when?

>> Well, this is the third time this week that I've cleaned the dishes when it's not my turn, and I can think of a couple of times when I've had to pick up your stuff before people came over.

>> I just don't see why it's such a big deal. If you just leave the stuff there, I'll clean it up.

>> I know you would, I guess it's just harder for me to live in a place that's messy.

>> Yeah, and if you'd just relax, living together would be a lot easier.

>> Hold on a second, don't blame this whole thing on me, it's just that we have different standards. It looks to you like I'm too hung up on keeping this place clean.

>> Right.

>> And if we do it your way, then I give up. I would have to either live in a place that's messier than I like it to be or I would have to clean up everything on my own. Then I would get mad at you and things would be pretty tense around here.

>> Yeah, I suppose so.

>> We need to figure out a way to take care of the apartment in a way that we can both live with.

>> Yeah.

>> What can we do?

>> Look, from now on I'll just do the dishes right away; it's not worth arguing about.

>> Well if you're going to resent it and be unhappy all the time, then the place would be clean, but it wouldn't be worth it.

>> Okay. What do you suggest?

>> I'm not sure. You don't want the pressure of having to clean up right away, and I don't want to do your job and my job too.

>> Yeah. So what do we do, hire a housekeeper?

>> Yeah, wonderful. How about using paper plates? That would make it easier to clean up.

>> Yeah there would still be pots and pans.

>> Yeah, but it would help a little. How about cooking things that aren't so hard to clean up, maybe more salads, less of the fried stuff that sticks to the pans. That would be better a diet, too,

>> Yeah, that sounds great. That still doesn't do anything about you're wanting the living room picked up all the time and I'll bet I still wouldn't keep the kitchen as clean as you like it. Just keeping a super clean place isn't as big a deal to me as it is to you.

>> That's true. And I don't want to have to nag you. You know, it's not so much cleaning up that bothers me, it's doing more than my share of work. I wonder if there's a way where I could keep the kitchen clean and pick up if you could do something to keep the workload equal.

>> Are you serious? I would love to get out of doing the dishes. You mean you would do them and keep the place picked up if I did something else?

>> As long as the work was equal and as long as you did your jobs without me having to remind you.

>> Well, what kind of work would you want me to do?

>> How about cleaning the bathroom?

>> Forget it, that's worse than doing the dishes.

>> Okay. How about cooking?

>> That might work, but then we would have to eat together all the time. It's nice to be able to do our own cooking when we want too. It's more flexible that way.

>> But how about shopping? I hate shopping. I hate how much time it takes and I never have enough money to make it fun, but you don't mind it that much, do you?

>> You mean shop for groceries? You would trade that for cleaning the kitchen?

>> Sure. Takes an hour every time we do it. You make two trips a week. Cleaning the dishes would be quicker.

>> All right.

>> The plan didn't work perfectly. At first Terry put off shopping until all the food was gone and Chris took advantage by asking Terry to run other errands during her shopping trips, but their new arrangement proved much more successful than the old arrangement. The apartment was cleaner and the workload more even, which satisfied Chris. Terry was less the object of Chris' nagging and she had no kitchen chores, which made her happier. Just as important, the relationship between Chris and Terry was more comfortable, thanks to win-win problem solving.

Questions:

1. How was the solution Terry and Chris developed a win-win one?

2. How would the win-win outcome of this situation been different if the outcome had been a compromise?

3. Describe some win-lose outcomes, where one person prevailed over the other, that might have been less satisfying in this situation.

4. How might the win-lose outcomes you listed turn into lose-lose situations?

5. Do you think win-win outcomes are always possible in situations like the one in this situation?

6. What is the most helpful thing you learned about conflict?

Answer 1

1. The solution of doing the jobs that they both like, that is, terry can do cleaning and Chris can take job of grocery shopping. That came out to be a win win solution because both the parties in conflict were happy with the solution and were able to do their work more efficiently. None of them felt unfair as none of them compromised anything.

2. A win-win outcome is the one in which none of the conflicting parties feel unfair or do not give up anything. However, a compromise would mean that one of – terry or Chris have to give up on her choices. For example, if Terry gives up to negativity of Chris and agree to living in a messy place that she don’t like – it will be a compromise by terry and will be an unfair outcome for her. On the other hand, separating work in a way they both can do it will be more ethical .

3. Some win - lose outcomes are :-

- One of my hostel mate had a fight with her room mate on the same -cleaning the room . One was lazy and lived a messy life while other was very hygienic ,clean and punctual. At last the one who can not live in unclean environment cleaned the room and the other lazy girl won .

- Another is about a fight between a mother and father for taking their child to hospital for fever . Both were working and busy in their schedule that they did home management of fever . But the condition worsened and resulted in high grade fever with seizures and the child was shifted to emergency . If they have reached late then they would have lost her .

4. The second description provided by me would have resulted in lose -lose outcome for the mother and father of they haven't brought her child at correct time to the emergency .