Question

please i need quick help its due soon and send me typing answer becouse i dont understand hand wrtting thanks

1)An important element in managing controversy with civility is understanding how you feel about and approach controversy. Think about two different occurrences in which you have experienced disagreement with another individual or group, one that you feel was resolved positively and the other that was resolved less favorably. (Note: Less favorably does not indicate chat you "lost" in a disagreement.) How might these experiences have benefited from an approach of controversy with civility?

Answer 1

In my life I have to face a variety of complex and controversy with many individuals. The most common controversy it is usually between my friends and my family, especially my significant other. These are the people we often feel comfortable displaying our strongest opinions to, and we often do not find it uncomfortable to argue with them. I also seem to face controversy when working in groups for class work, I find that not all participants care as much as others which can make splitting the work really difficult. This is most prominent when the group was made of strangers because individuals have yet to build trust for one another.

The two conflicts I will discuss both fall in the categories described above. The first to be a conflict with my boyfriend and the second will be a conflict with a leader of a team I was on. In the first circumstance, I will describe an argument between boyfriend and I. We tend to disagree on most things, as we come from the families and backgrounds which have altered our lived experiences, and this helps to frame how we view certain situations. This is further discussed in Chapter 8. Whenever I’m around my boyfriend’s family I’m always appalled by how the men treat the women. He comes from a very strict Armenian family, and it is expected by the culture that the women stay home to take care of the children and do housework. I want to love his family, but it makes me so upset to be around them. The other day I told my boyfriend that I would no longer go to his home. You may be able to imagine that this did not go down well. Automatically my boyfriend became very defensive, he began to defend his family and try to throw my family under the bus. He would not let me speak or explain myself, but instead began to raise his voice. This caused me to become defensive, and argument began. Before we knew it, we were saying things mean to each other trying to make each other feel just as bad as we did. After a competition of who can be the loudest, we had a civil conversation, but ended up just tabling the topic for now, as we could not come to any solution. During the situation, I felt very angry and attacked. Both my boyfriend and I were involved, but also in the sense so was his family, he felt that I was attacking them as well. The controversy was managed by calming down each other’s emotions, no solution was achieved. If I could change this situation I would have approached it much differently. Starting with the conversation, instead of stating something I was just going to do without even asking him. When I reflect now I can understand how he felt attacked, and needed to defend his family. This was not my intention, but that’s not what matters, what matters is how he perceive what I said.

By utilizing controversy with civility, I think I could have avoided him feeling personally attacked. By using the word, we instead of you could have made him feel a lot better or even directing it to myself by saying I. Doing both of these things could have made him feel less attacked. I also did not “involve everyone in planning and problem-solving”, as I made the decision about what I was getting do without him, which probably made him feel powerless. If I would’ve utilize the strategies I probably could’ve avoided such an escalated situation. This was therefore resolves less favorably.

Another controversy that I faced was in a group that I worked in. Due to a medical emergency, I could not make one of the meetings so I told my group leader some private information in order to reaffirm her that I was not just flaking. Come to find out that she shared that private information with multiple people in our group and also outside of our group. This obviously caused me to become very angry, at one of our leadership seminars I confronted her and began to degrade her as a leader. I told her that a leader is not someone who is untrustworthy, and not someone who gossips about their group members. She stood there silently obviously feeling very attack and not knowing how to respond. After this conversation I walked away, and met with my cohort leader asking if I could switch groups which I later did.

Throughout this entire circumstance I felt very angry and betrayed. I felt that I could no longer trust my group leader. The key individuals involved with the leader and myself and the controversy was not managed and the problem was resolved by no longer working with the individual. If I could change the situation I would have hoped for her response or possibly even an apology. I wish I could have been the bigger person and stayed in the group, but it is very hard to work with people who you cannot trust. By utilizing controversy with civility, both my group leader and I could have benefited. Firstly, my group leader and I did not demonstrate willingness to trust each other. We did not problem solve and I surely did not use the word “we”. If we did these things the outcome could have been much different.