Question

What is the difference between positions and interests, and how do interests relate to values? Why is it important to understand these concepts?

Answer 1

It is a simple concept but when you are caught up in conflict with someone it can be hard to see. If you are in conflict with someone I can guarantee that you have taken mutually exclusive positions and you're looking across the gap between what you are both saying you want unable to see a resolution.

So what are positions?

According to the dictionary positions are "a place where someone or something is located or has been put"

The positions that I'm talking about in a conflict situation are the stand you've taken or been put in based on the advice you've accepted. If you've chosen your position it will be based on what matters to you. The position you take will be influenced by a number of different factors:

what you believe e.g if you think the other person is trying to take advantage of you then you might adopt a harsher position yourself. If you believe you will have to compromise you'll probably adopt an extreme position so that there is "room to move". This is a very traditional legal and bargaining strategy that is based on mistrust and a lack of good faith.

what you expect e.g if you have low self-esteem and believe that life is unfair and you always fail you may adopt a weak position that doesn't actually meet your needs. People who have been subjected to family violence may do this or may do the exact opposite and adopt a fixed and unyielding position.

what you focus on e.g you have a number of different things that matter to you (interests) but may be focusing on only one when you establish your position. We often see women who want to keep the family home and are willing to compromise on anything else in order to do that.

what you want e.g you may decide that you want a specific thing or amount of money and you won't compromise on that even if it isn't possible in the situation and this locks you in conflict because it is impossible to get what you want even if the other party was willing to give it to you.

Whatever factors that have contributed to the position you've come up with the thing to realise is a position is only one of the possible ways to get what you really need.

What are interests then?

In the way I am using the word interests means all of the things that matter to you and which you really need to be safe and happy.

Lets say you are used to having a high income and buying the very best and most expensive brands.

Your position might be that you want to continue to buy those luxury items but in reality your interests are that you have enough money to be appropriately dressed. While you might want to keep up the standard you are used to it isn't really necessary for your safety and happiness.

Position: I only want to buy luxury brands

Interests: I need suitable clothing that looks and feels good

You might be thinking that interests are a compromise on your standards with an example like that but in reality your interests are just the different ways of describing what you really need.

Understanding your skills, interests, values, and personality is the first step toward choosing a career path. Learning what you enjoy, what you're good at, and what you value most in your life or work environment is necessary before you embark on exploring possible careers. So interest and calues bktg are related to each other

Certain interests will explain why the other party holds a particular position. Remember basic human needs: Money is not always the most important interest. Spend time understanding the wants, needs and desires, as well as the fears or concerns, of all of the parties.