Question

Writing Improvement Exercises Improving Subject Lines and Opening Sentences (L.o2 subject ine and opening sentence for each one TASK. Revise the following wordy openin ngs for messages so that they are more direct and concise. Write an appropriate 6. Hellol My name is Garrick Williams, and I just saw the terrific website for your organization, Green Living Spaces, which lunder ies. I have a number of questions about selling your products commissions. At your website I learned about the possibity of gaining affililate status, which I am defintely inter stand is one of the world's leading health and wellness compani ested in, but I still have many questions not answered at your site. Subject line: Opening sentence: 17. This is to inform you that your letter of April 4 has been circulated to me, as I am in charge of such requests, After your inquiry, I looked into the matter of supplying your firm with suffocation warning bags. Yes, we do carry these bags in various sizes. They alert customers to potential child hazards. Due to the fact that these bags are required by many government agencies, we keep them constantly in stock. They are compliant with FDA and USDA regulations. On each bag is a message that is printed in English, Spanish, and French. You will find that items slip easily into these poly bags that are open-ended. According to my records, they are available for immediate shipment Subject line: Opening sentence: 18. I have recelved your message of January 5 asking whether or not our company has an employee recognition program. You inquired about whether we had such a program and whether we found it effective, I can answer in the affirmative to both queries! We do indeed spread throughout the year help employees feel valued all year long. You asked if we would be willing to give you advice on starting such a program. We feel so strongly about our program that we would be happy to share our system, which is effective in rewarding behavior that we want to see repeated Our program provides rewards that are simple, immediate, and powerfully have a recognition program because we have learned that small surprises and tokens of appreciation Subject line: Opening sentence: 19. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Marquis Jones, and I am assistant to the director of Employee Relations at United sociates We place nurse anesthetists in hospitals. Each year we try to recognize outstanding staff members dur ing Customer Service Week. lunderstand you provide an idea Guide of questions about them Subject line Opening sentence: and that you sell special recognition gifts. I have a number 20. Your compl aint message about our Mesa/Boogie BQ6 Russian matched pair guitar amplifier tubes that were broken in transit to you has been directed also thank you for your thoughtfulness in noting the damage to me for response. Thank you for telling us immediately about this mishap with your Order No. 6090. We k carefully on the express receipt. That information is very helpful. We are sending a replacement shipment of your entire order by prepaid express and expect that it will arrive by February 20 to replace your stock of guitar amp tubes. Subject line: Opening sentence: Chapter 6: Positive and Neutral Messages

Answer 1

16. Subject Line : Client Enquiry

" I just happened to browse through your website and understood that you are of the leading Health and Wellness companies ..... " Garrick Williams

17. Subject Line : Material Availability Status

" With reference to your letter dated 4th April, we hereby would like to inform you that we have sufficient stock at our warehouse to proceed with your order...... "

18. Subject Line : Employee Engagement

" Hi, with reference to your query raised on Jan 5th, we are happy to clarify the same.... "

19. Subject Line : Corporate Enquiry

" Hi, I represent United Anaesthesia Associates and am Marquis Jones. We have an annual event at our office for recognizing outstanding employees......"

20. Subject Line : Compliant No: 123 - Status Update "

" Hi, Please be informed that your complaint pertaining to your recent purchase of .... "